“Leadership would be easy if it wasn’t for the people!” This was the flippant reply of a man I was chatting to at a networking event when the topic of leadership had arisen. Sadly, this sentiment and experience are not so uncommon. Research from Korn Ferry shows up to 80% of those transitioning into leadership for the first time fail and the majority of the challenges relate to managing people.

I’ve coached and trained hundreds of leaders who after years of study, hard work and skill sharpening, were celebrated for their technical prowess and rewarded with a promotion. This sought-after step up the ladder quite often comes with an increased salary and the responsibility to lead people. A responsibility upon which many stumble. This can destroy confidence and can derail an otherwise promising careers. It is even more pronounced when a business owner who, with great passion and skill, builds a successful business only to find that, in employing people to help, things become exponentially more difficult. Why does this happen at such alarming rates and what can we do to support smart people through the transition?

Become a student again

To become an Accountant, you will generally study accounting. Doctors attend medical school and Lawyers to law school. Builders, plumbers and mechanics complete apprenticeships to learn the skills of their trade. In almost all disciplines, we study to develop essential skills first. However in leadership, people are often thrown the keys and wished luck to work it out themselves. The Centre for Creative Leadership reported that 60% of leaders say they never receive any training when stepping into a leadership role. While it is true organisations need to offer more for transitioning leaders, I think it also highlights one of the most critical shifts leaders need to make. They must put aside any air of excellence attributed to their technical skillset and instead become humble, curious students once again.

Anti-super Hero: Stop trying to save the day

The most common failing of the newly promoted leader is to jump too quickly and intently back on the tools. Having often been a master at the job the people you are leading are doing, many promoted leaders see any sign of struggle as an opportunity to get their hands dirty. The story they tell themselves is that they are pitching in, lending a hand or role modelling work standards. I’m not suggesting that at times this is both true and necessary, but we need to be very careful.

Two things generally happen when a leader busies themselves with work their team should be doing. Firstly, it can be seen as coddling or favouritism. A member of the team is not doing their work and in swoops the parental leader to clean up their mess. The issue with this is it is unfair on everyone else. I’ve seen many times this metastasize from picking up the work of a single underperformer to doing a bit of everyone’s job. Standards are slipping because others are reducing their work to the standard of the underperformer you seem happy to supplement. Many a tired leader has complained to me that they are tired and working on the weekend because their team is letting them down. While they don’t like me saying so, the reality is, this is not a failing of their team members, it is a failing of leadership.

Which brings us to the second issue with trying to save the day by doing other’s work. It means you spend too much time working and not enough leading. Effective leaders are always managing performance, upholding standards and supporting individuals to increase their skills and effectiveness. When busy doing, leaders generally have little time for this vital role which begins a viscous downward spiral for the team. Stop doing their work, no matter how easy or joyful you might find it, that is not your main priority now, you are a leader not a doer.

Help guide through complexity with curiosity not intellect

I stood looking blankly at a wall of drill bits in my local hardware store. A man approached me with a name badge declaring his name was Pete. The smiley face drawn next to his name was as wide as the one on his face. He asked how he could help, and I replied I needed a 5 mm drill bit. “Oh right, so do you want a cobalt, masonry, brad point, twist drill, forstner…” he said it all so fast my brain tuned out as my head began to spin. Pete clearly knew a lot about drill bits, but his expertise was less impressive and more intimidating. I had no idea what type of bit I needed, and Pete had simply led me deeper into the feelings of complexity and uncertainty that I wanted to escape.

Smart leaders can easily fall victim to this trap. As an expert, their immense knowledge about a topic set them apart. They often wear it with pride and enjoy showing it off to others. But leadership is not about you, it is about helping others. The question Pete should have asked was: “What do you need the hole for?” This step back from the complexity and curiosity for my view would have made me much more comfortable. Not only that, but I would have replied that I needed to drill a hole to put up a hook and hang a painting. At this point, Pete could have asked how big the painting was, what sort of wall it would hang on and lead me through the different options to solve my problem.

There is no doubt that Pete’s expertise would have been useful, but leaders need to ensure people are following along. This doesn’t mean we drag them into the deep waters of our expertise, instead we wade back into the shallows to support plot the right path.

Phone a friend… or coach

While the statistics and stories of failure are plentiful, sadly many still step into the leadership arena unprepared and alone. The best tip I can give to any leader at any level or stage of career is to get support. Whether a mentor, coach, mastermind group or coffee with a colleague, reach out and find others to share ideas with, get guidance from and unload the challenges that will undoubtedly come.

Leadership can feel lonely at times, but it shouldn’t. Have a little empathy for yourself and ask for help when you need it. Now more than ever, we need more humble leaders to turn the statistics around and build a world of leaders worth following.

Daniel Murray is the author of The Empathy Gap

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