The New trend for “rage cages” may be headline grabbing but these organisations are fundamentally unhealthy says an emotional resilience expert Julian Hall, Director of Canal Street’s Calm People.
The “rage cage”, based in Nottinghamshire, offers paying customers the chance to smash up household items like porcelain and printers using a weapon such as a baseball bat. The idea is to allow people to vent their feelings in a supposedly safe environment so they can go into the world more relaxed than when they went in. But Julian Hall, founder and managing director of Canal Street’s Calm People, says that while such organisations may seem like a harmless way to burn off angry feelings which often come to a head during the festive season, in reality they are anything but.
He says: “These rooms are popping up in the States and there seems to be a bit of a trend for them starting over here. I am concerned that this is an unhealthy bandwagon that is starting to roll here in the UK. Whilst they can be a bit of fun, I am not at all sure they are healthy. “Real rage is a very, very serious thing. It is beyond mere anger. When someone is in a rage they will not go to a cage to vent. They will simply act out their feelings. All these centres are doing is encouraging that to happen.” These are the reasons why Julian, whose highly successful company has attracted glowing testimonials from attendees who have found them very useful in learning how to work positively with others, as well as achieving better personal relationships, thinks that going to a rage cage is not the best way of venting angry thoughts:
Yes, the rage cage allows customers to vent, but without the supervision of a trained therapist this has little point. All it does it get rid of energy, there is no attempt to sort the root problem and causes of a person’s anger. People may use these cages who have genuine anger management needs. All this means is they will see this as a viable option for managing their problem when it all it really does it s provide a short-term temporary release. What such cages actually do is help people develop muscle strength and develop unhealthy habits that then mean they are more likely to get acted out in real life, when that person is in an actual rage. Venting your anger by smashing things up sets a really bad example for children and impressionable adults. It gives out an unhealthy message that dealing with your feelings in this way is OK as long as it is in a safe environment.
At this time of year, with its financial tensions, people often experience more anger than normal as they strive for perfection but inevitably fall short of their own expectations. Trying to relax by drinking too much also doesn’t help. Rather than spending money on going to a rage cage, people would be better off saving their money and putting the budget towards proper anger management. It isn’t for nothing that January 9 is the busiest day of the year for divorce lawyers, with one in five couples making inquiries after the severe emotional challenges of Christmas time.
Here are Julian’s top tips on how people should deal with the stresses and strains of the festive season, which do not involve any breakages at all: Give people jobs: Ask each visitor for specific help. Become a delegator not an agitator. We all have a fundamental need to feel useful. Play to it. Remind people of the good times: Leave family photo albums out for people to look through and make their own conversation, it’s not your responsibility to entertain. This approach has the added benefits of reminding everyone of all the good times you have had and should leave everyone feeling all warm and fuzzy. Get support: Arrange for a phone call to a close friend who may feel the same way so that you offload or support each other.
Look for the positive: Most people aren’t trying to antagonise you. For example, a majority of the time help is offered for genuine reasons and not to suggest that you are useless. Relatives boast about the money they have spent to make themselves feel better, not to make you feel worse. Drip feed the children presents: How many of you have experienced children up at 5am, all presents opened at 6am and the dreaded boredom setting in at 9am? The longer they take to open their presents the more they will enjoy them. Save some for Boxing Day. Get everyone out for a walk: The most enjoyable conversations happen on walks because there is nothing else to do and you walk side by side thus creating a feeling of affiliation and respect.
It’s not long, honest. This is not the rest of your life (even if it might feel like it at times) but the consequences of losing your temper can last a lot longer. Be patient, bite your tongue and give yourself regular breaks (even if it’s volunteering to do the washing up because it’s peaceful!). If you need to confront the person that is causing you stress, do it politely and in a matter of fact way, explaining your feelings and why you are struggling.
