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 Imposter syndrome in the LGBTQ+ community

SEE Change Happen’s CEO Joanne Lockwood considers the impact that imposter syndrome has on the LGBTQ+ community and how both business leaders and employees can ensure it has no place at work.

Never A Gender Native, Always An Outsider Trying to Belong
We all feel we are not good enough at some point in our lives, but if left to grow it can be a barrier to workers achieving their full potential and can adversely affect mental health.  As many as 70% of adults have felt imposter syndrome at some point in their life according to a review article in the International Journal of Behavioral Science, but whilst it is hard to pinpoint the exact figures, LGBTQ+ workers, and in particular the trans community, are at increased risk of imposter syndrome.

Imposter syndrome is the commonly experienced feeling that our success is not a result of our ability, but instead the product of external factors such as luck, timing or perhaps a ‘fluke’. For many LGBTQ+ people, the journey to living authentically at work involves huge barriers to inclusion which can lead to feeling like they don’t belong and could likely trigger a fear of not being competent or worthy enough at work.  The more marginalised you are the more heightened your imposter syndrome may be because of your own internalised beliefs of never feeling good enough and not belonging means you often work twice as hard to ‘prove’ your value.

There are numerous stressors that add to this. The fear of being ‘found out’ can quickly become all-consuming and feeling the need to hide yourself by having a secret identity heightens imposter syndrome. Equally sharing your sexual orientation or gender identity with work colleagues is often a daunting task. When people come out they may still be living two lives to cover up their sexuality in certain situations and fear stepping into another lane.  It is easy to get caught up in shame and humiliation.

Dysphoria for trans people is another key factor because when you look in the mirror you may not see the person you are inside. Maybe you don’t have enough of a beard or have too high a voice to feel authentically male.  Maybe your hips aren’t wide enough, or you don’t have delicate enough features to believe you ‘pass’ as female. We are also socialised in the construct of our birth-assigned gender – to be an assertive man or a feminine woman. When realigning your gender presentation your insecurity leads you to believe you have a threshold to meet, and you also worry about people judging you at the same time.

There is a lot of internal pressure (and external at times) to have enough operations so you can accept yourself and are able to meet society’s definition of gender norms. At work, am I female enough to be in this group, can I relax with my team? Do I meet the group dynamic enough to fit in with the group?  We are constantly stuck in a place of feeling we are not good enough, that we are being watched and will never pass the test.

It is also regularly inferred that perhaps being trans is just a phase or perhaps we are confusing sexuality and gender. This has a huge impact on your mental health and your sense of belonging. Add to that the repeated backlash in the media that you are never going to be good enough; that you are never going to be a native and are always an immigrant in the gender space.  And then there is the dreaded toilet issue. Is someone going to tell me I am in the wrong place – do I blend in enough? Do people think I am still a bloke in a dress or is someone else a misguided butch lesbian?

Transgender people can amplify the problems between them so even the trans-space still often isn’t safe, with pressure to be ‘truly trans’ you need to have had enough medical intervention.  Equally, when you are gay you can be questioned by your own community who create their own barrier to entry – are you gay enough?  There is a lot of stigma for bisexual people for example.  Whatever the situation, there is often stigma, fear, humiliation, and rejection around not being good enough.

All of these reasons are why imposter syndrome is so prevalent in the LGBTQ+ community and manifests itself in anxiety and the belief that not only are you not worthy of the position you hold or success you attain, and that ultimately you will soon be ‘found out’ as being illegitimate and this fear will be confirmed by those around you.

How then, can employers and business leaders ensure that their LGBTQ+ employees are valued authentically, and imposter syndrome has no place at work?

The Employer

Don’t settle for “fine thanks”
If you notice a change in any of your employees, be it subtle or obvious and are concerned about their confidence, make sure to not just settle at “fine thanks” when checking in.  Asking regularly if your employees are really okay is vital to creating a positive and affirming workplace where well-being is a priority. Listen, show compassion, and reassure, to help ease the pressure they may be experiencing.

Acknowledge it.
The first step to overcoming imposter syndrome and its implications is to acknowledge its presence. Ways to do this may be to discourage negative small talk or the rejection of compliments. Rather than assuming that the individual is proud of themselves following a promotion, stop to ask what their initial response is and note if they have any doubts or questions preceding any kind of celebration.

Challenge perfectionism
One of the most common manifestations of imposter syndrome is perfectionism.  LGBTQ+ employees will often feel the need to prove themselves to a greater degree and in turn adopt a perfectionist mindset.  This however can often fuel the fear of failure.  Instead, give your employees permission to fail without repercussions and opportunities to improve as part of healthy growth.

Ensure a psychologically safe space
Maintaining an open dialogue with your employees is essential so you can get closer to the root cause, establish an environment of psychological safety and work on a strategy to manage the issues.  By creating opportunities for people to address their fears, you can alleviate worries and help enable your colleague to thrive.  The tone and language used in a workplace will quickly determine the environment and the attitude adopted by employees.

The Individual

Check your inner circle
Identifying people who affirm and encourage you is essential when trying to build up self-confidence.  Consider whom you have allowed into your inner circle of trust – are they positive influences or do they drain your optimism and ambition?

Ask for a mentoring programme.
Having a mentor is really helpful when your inner critic is hard to ignore.  It doesn’t necessarily have to be a formal arrangement.  Sharing your problems around self-belief means together you can set up objectives to improve self-esteem and quieten your inner critic.

Ask for specific feedback
Seek 360 feedback from people you trust. Perhaps benchmark yourself against different metrics on last year, not last week and see how far you have come.  Rather than accepting ambiguous compliments or affirmations, ask them to be specific in their reasoning.

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